what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
