I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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