Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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