if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
