she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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