Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize