Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
either way he was missing a nipple.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
