He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
