This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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