No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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