I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
