We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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