yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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