yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
