Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
