I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
