is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize