oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
