I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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