so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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