His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
