I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
