The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
This toilet bowl is my home.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
