we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
How does it feel to date your dad?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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