Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
