i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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