One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
