This is not my ceiling
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
