i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
