he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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