just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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