marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize