He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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