these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
