she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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