nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
