dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
