Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Randomize
