i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
People in love make me want to vomit
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
