just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
this hospital has no fireball
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
