he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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