There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
