he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
