I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
