everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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