I wish I could punch you in the face.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
