Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
