Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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