Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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