I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
