So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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