Jerry, you need to find god
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
