i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
