Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
