need another drink. this is the easiest way
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
