Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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